I Thought I Was Getting Better....

If you have ever ridden with me while driving across a bridge over water, you have probably been witness to the mini-freakout that I experience whether I'm actually driving or just riding. (And you better hope that I'm not driving! Just ask my best friend Myndi) I have an extreme fear of bridges over water. I am scared that our car is going to somehow hit the side of the bridge and go crashing into the water below. I don't exactly know where this fear came from but I have had it I know since elementary school. I have a very specific routine that I do while driving over the bridges and if you are riding with me you know not to interrupt or expect me to answer any questions or comment on anything you might have just said directly to me. I am completely silent (mostly because I can't breathe very well) and I have to constantly check how far the other cars are from us and how far we are from the side of the bridge. And if you are driving and you are talking on the phone, or playing with the radio, or just passing another car, I get even more scared. I say all of this to say that recently I had begun to get better. When you love going to the beach, it is impossible to not drive over bridges so I have been over many this summer alone. And I really thought I was getting better. I just went over a couple of bridges last weekend and I was able to not check constantly and actually said something while on the bridge. BIG improvement for me. But then this week tragedy struck in Minnesota and what I thought (and what so many people have told me) was just an irrational fear, suddenly became very real to me. I can't imagine what those people went through and what their families are experiencing right now. My heart goes out to everyone affected by this horrific event. I have watched the coverage as much as possible though it is very hard for me to do. When I saw the first headline that said Bridge Collapses Over Mississippi River, I had a mini freakout right in my living room. Last night I watched tips on what to do if your car ever does go underwater (even though I already know these tips and have committed them to memory) And I even have one of those rescue tools that can cut you out of your seatbelt, knock out the window, etc. I got that for my birthday several years ago and probably will always rank as one of my all-time favorite gifts. And while this horrible tragedy won't completely keep me from going over bridges over water, my little bit of progress that I had made has gone completely out the window. I will be right back to the silence and constant surveillance. My prayers are with all of you in Minnesota.